Zim Meets The Fangirls
by chocolate.chibi
Summary: Nice title, eh? Randomness, humor, and crazyness will ensue. *-*
1. Zim and the head fangirl

REVAMPED.

Edited into story format, second official story, blah blah blah. Enjoy.

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT OWN.

* * *

One fateful day, la-di-da-di-da, Zim was walking to his base from the WRETCHED skool he now had more reason to hate. Today, Dib had ruined his wig by dousing the fibers in juice at lunch, and now he was sticky. He cursed under his breath thinking about it, and kept plodding on.

_Oh, Dib-beast, I will get you if it's the last thing I do…_

He heard footsteps behind him, and hissed, "Dib-stink…if you dare to invoke my wrath again, I swear to my Tallest I will skewer you with a pak leg before you can say 'brain meats'."

A shrill voice (fatefully) pierced the air, one that was DEFINITELY not Dib's.

"ZOMG!!! HE TALKED! I LURVE YOU, ZIM!!!"

Clearly, this person did not know or care that Zim had just issued a death threat. He turned around and saw a female filthy hyoomun (or in other words a human girl).

"Who are you!?!" Zim shrieked.

The unknown person replied, "I'm-"

"Who are you!?!" Zim screamed again, quite paranoid.

"I'm Jelly, fangirl of the Invader Zim fandom and SOOO glad you noticed me!"

"Eh?"

"A FANGIRL! A girl that loves a particular thing and is a fan of that thing!"

"Uh…"

"I know, so weird, right?" The Jelly-human giggled for no apparent reason.

"Stop being so happy! You remind me of my SIR-I mean dog, Gir!"

"OMG! GIR! I love him too! Oh, but not the way I love YOU, Zim." Jelly proceeded to flutter her eyes at him. Zim's eye twitched involuntarily.

Zim felt it best not to ask what a 'fandom' was, but instead asked, "Does Dib have -eye twitch- fangirls?"

Jelly responded with a cheery, "Of course he does! But not as many as you."

Zim was confused by this and stated, "But…you're only one hyoomun…"

Jelly giggled and didn't say anything, only whistled.

Zim watched in terror and shock, mouth popping open and eyes widening past the contacts, as fangirls by the ton rushed into the immediate area.

Jelly saluted them and yelled, "Atten-hut! Now, bow to the lord of smexiness, ZIM!!!"

The fangirls jumped to a bowing position and cried, "We love you, lord of smexiness!"

Jelly smiled, pleased with the adoration, and declared, "You see Zim, we all love you. Now, if you would grant us your eternal willingness to be our smexy lord, we'd all be content to worship you as we please."

Zim thought about it, he would be able to conquer the world AND have battle squadrons at his every command with this many hyoomuns on his side… Zim closed his mouth, adopted a triumphant expression, and straightened up. "Fine. I will be your "lord of smexiness". Now will you follow me?"

The fangirls suddenly got strange expressions on their faces like they were going to eat him. "Not yet. First, you have to prove your promise," they chanted in unison.

Jelly took this moment to pipe up, "Hey, did you guys bring the pudding as planned? And the chocolate syrup? And the whipped cream?"

A random fangirl shouted, "Yeah!"

Jelly smiled evilly and uttered the words that made Zim's triumphant expression turn into fear…"Perfect."

* * *

So how'd I do? Review! Review! Oh, and feel free to post predictions about what's gonna happen in the next chappie...and suggestions are always welcome. :D squee~

Chibi-san


	2. The PUDDING

Hey people! Can't believe I already got six reviews, and none of them flames! Yaaaayyy!!! A special shoutout to the first people that reviewed: ZatrForever, Zim's-Best-Friend, Journalist 793 (Amy), JoeMerl, Invader Oceana, and Invader Melissa. You all get cookies! ZOMG just remembered I didn't include the disclaimer!!!!!

**Disclaimer: **_**I DO NOT own Invader Zim or any of its characters. The only one I own is Jelly, so please stop rubbing it in my face, Jhonen.**_

**ZatrForever: Thx so much! I'll be sure to mention you as a Zim fangirl. And don't worry, I'm updating right now. ****J**

**Amy: Sure you can be the head fangirl. We'll be friends in real life, but in the story we'll be mortal enemies. ;)**

**JoeMerl: Teehee! Not telling, you'll just have to read. :) **

**Invader Oceana: Wee, an invader in the flesh! Squee~ Oh, and I have the same ideas, I think but probly only like one or two will make the cut. (But no, they will not make him eat the pudding.)**

**Zim's-Best-Friend: Really? You're the best friend of ZIM? Please introduce me! Pleeeeeeaasssssseeee! Okay anyway yes, you can be a Zim fangirl, but however…you're the one bringing the pudding, whipped cream, and chocolate syrup!**

**Invader Melissa: ZOMG! Another invader! Awesome. And yes, you can be a Dib fangirl.**

Whoo, finally it's the end of this long A/N. Enjoy the next chappie!

* * *

(Scene: A room with a Zim shrine. Zim is in chains on a ginormous plate, almost naked except for some Irken undies.)

Jelly: Okay, Zim's-Best-Friend! Did you bring the stuff?

Zim's-Best-Friend: Ya! All set! *shows all the girls with buckets full of all the stuff*

Jelly: Ready, girls? Remember our plan?

Fangirls: Ya!

Zim: *trembling* what are you planning to do with all the Earth junk?

Jelly: Erm…uh…NOW! *gestures to fangirls*

Fangirls: *pour all the pudding, whipped cream, and chocolate syrup on the helpless Zim*

Jelly: Excellent work, girls.

Fangirls: *all bow*

ZatrForever: Can I put the cherry now? Please, Jelly? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeze?

Jelly: Fine.

ZatrForever: *pulls out a cherry, eats the fruit part, then sticks the stem into Zim's mouth* Try to put that in a knot with your tongue, my Zimmy darling.

Zim: *ties knot*

ZatrForever: *pulls out stem* and…he did it! Yaaaayyyy!!!!

Fangirls: Yaaaayyyy!!!! He's a good kisser!

Jelly: Except only I get to kiss him today. Teehee. But still, now you guys can feast on his body (A/N O_o weird wording) while I get the antennae!

Fangirls: Yaaaayyyy!!!! *starts eating the pudding off of Zim*

Zim: Stop that, it tickles! No, not there, please noooOOOAAHHH!!!!

Jelly: Zimmy dearest, please be quiet. Can't you see I'm trying to kiss you? *starts nibbling on his antennae*

Zim: *moans several times*

Jelly: There, Zimmy. Aren't we all relaxed now? *starts to try and kiss him*

*Wall suddenly is bombarded by shell bombs*

Jelly: *stops* Good thing I made this place totally missile-proof.

*Door opens, there standing is the head of the Dib fangirls, AMY!!!*

Jelly: AMY! How dare you intrude on my kiss with Zim? How DARE you? And was it you who threw the shell bombs?

Amy: Yes, I was the one who threw the bombs, _JELLY_. In an attempt to get into the room! But, seeing as how brainless you Zim fangirls are, you put a door and left it open! So…BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA-

Jelly: *interjects* But Zim is still better.

Amy: HAHAHAHAHAHAAA-wait, say what?

Jelly: ZIM IS BETTER!!!!

Amy: No he isn't!!! Dib is!!!

Zim: *from on the plate* No, I am!

Jelly: We know you are, darling. Stay calm and your head fangirl will convince this person of your greatness.

Amy: ZOMG! DIB IS BETTER!

Jelly: NO, ZIM IS!

*Meanwhile, girls take Zim off his chains and give him his clothes(since the girls already ate all the pudding)*

*A figure walks in, wearing a trench coat*

Dib: I'LL be the judge of that.

Amy and Invader Melissa(who just walked in): SQUEAL!!! IT'S DIB!!!

Zim and his fangirls: Ick, it's the Dib-Stink.

Invader Melissa: You called him stinky! This means WAR!!!

Zim: Zim would be happy to fight Dib-Stink. He's really annoying. And Dib…um…ly. Ya that's it he's Dibbly.

All Fangirls: Ya! WAR!!! *start brandishing weapons, Zim fangirls have lasers, Dib fangirls have thin swords*

Dib: Girls, girls, GIRLS! Please don't fight over me. *meant to be dazzling smile*

Dib fangirls: *swoon*

Zim fangirls: *gag*

*Jelly beckons Amy to the corner while the girls argue with each other, where they come up with a plan*

Jelly and Amy: Okay! We haves a plan!

All fangirls and Zim and Dib: What?

Jelly: We will have…a SMEXY-OFF!!!

Zim: What is that?

Amy: You guys will dress up in various outfits and pose for us. Whoever we declare the smexiest is the best.

Dib and Zim: No way. We are not disintegrating our manly/Irken pride.

Jelly: Do it or we will all start stripping you.

Dib and Zim: OKAY! OKAY!!! Gosh! WE'LL DO IT!

All Fangirls: *devilish smiles all around* Teehee. This is going to be interesting.

* * *

A/N: Pretty cool cliffy, huh? Wonder what it'll be like…but I'm sure you can have a little bit of a thought. Suggestions needed for outfits! Reviews needed! (I'm very needy right now!!!) Go on! Press that button. You know you want to. Review and get a hug from Dib or Zim!

Luv, Jelly-Chan


	3. Smexy Modeling!

_**Thanks to all you fans that came back for more, and welcome to you guys that just got here. **_

_**Disclaimer: Don't own. Stop rubbing it in!!!**_

**Now it's time for review replies!**

**Yessie55: Nice :)**

**Invader Melissa: Erm…I'll try to put it in this chapter.**

**ZatrForever: I think Invader Zatr is a good name. So glad to have the honor of having you in my fic in the first place! And nice idea. Thx for thinking it was funny! (btw: was the cherry good?)**

**Minus your plus: Thx for the evil laff, but I'm not sure ZaGr is or could be involved. But I will put in the fanboy :) **

**Amy: *accepts e-hug and sends back a chocolate e-hug* Thx for thinking it was funny. No, the dressup thing will not be the only thing. Bloody cage match? Nice. But I dunno if I would be comfortable pummeling you, so it should be something like popping popcorn. Trivia, cooking, and crocheting/embroidery is good. Arm wrestling is sort of a no-no…they would break each other's arms. Did you see them? They're as thin as wafers! I want to use the name, though. Quest for the Smexiest…it rhymes.**

**CookieLuvahhXD: Thx. x1000.**

**invaderzimfannumber1: Erm…nice for Zim but dropping Dib in toxic waste? Harsh.**

[Note: Dib fangirls and Zim fangirls are now Dibgirls and Zimgirls. Why? I'm lazy :)]

* * *

(Scene: runway. Dibgirls to one side, Zimgirls to another)

*Jelly and Amy walk out in glamorous outfits*

Jelly: Hello, and welcome to: the Quest for the Smexiest, Round one: SMEXY MODELING!!!

*All fangirls cheer*

Amy: There will be six categories: evening wear, dresses, emo-tastic, smexy, them dressing up as each other, and random!

*loud cheering*

Random fangirl: Is this being broadcasted?

Jelly: YES! So tape it, so you can see it over and over again.

*louder cheering*

Amy: remember, if you want to see cute, go pet a hamster. If you want smexy, STAY HERE!

*raucous and max volume cheering*

Jelly: And now, say hello to ZIM AND DIB!!!

*they walk out to maximosity of applause*

Zimgirls: Zim is our smexy lord! Zim is our smexy lord!

Zim: Yes! Worship me…for I am way more smexy than Dib! *Starts doing a smexy dance*

*Meanwhile, (before this):*

Skoodge: My Tallests, we've picked up a strange signal.

Red: From where, Skoodge?

Skoodge: Earth.

Purple: Isn't that where Zim is?

Red: Yep. Skoodge, tap the signal.

*Video feed pops up on wall screen*

_Zimgirls: Zim is our smexy lord! Zim is our smexy lord! _

_Zim: Yes! Worship me…for I am way more smexy than Dib! *Starts doing a smexy dance*_

Tallests: Holy Mother of Irk! *nosebleed*

*Getting back to the challenge…*

Amy: Boys, go change into your outfits for…evening wear!

Zim and Dib: *change then come back*

Jelly: Zim is wearing Irken boxers with "I am a smexy beast" on the butt. It's like really, hot. Like, really. Like, really really really really really really really-

Amy: *interrupts* Dib is wearing a robe with fuzzy bunnies and boxers that have a kiss mark on the leg.

Zim: _The kiss mark is fake, of course. Because he's not good looking enough for it to be real._

Dib: HEY!!!

Jelly: ANYWAY, boys. Go change into your dresses!

Zim and Dib: Do we have to?

Amy: YES, now go!

Zim and Dib: *walk grumbling to get changed, then walk out changed and grouchy*

Jelly: Zim is wearing a pink and black dress with a cute velvet bow at the waist and garters.

*Meanwhile…*

Red: Holy Irk. MY EYES!!!

Purple: MY EYES, TOO!!!

*Getting back to the smexy-off…*

Amy: Dib is wearing a big floofy blue ball gown like Cinderella had. Complete with matching princess tiara!

Jelly: _He looks like a drag queen…_

Amy: *Fiery eyes* WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Jelly: Nothing! Slow your roll.

Amy: *calms down* Strut for us, boys.

Dib and Zim: *try to strut then fall in a heap of pink and floof*

Jelly: Why you no strut?

Dib and Zim: It's hard for us guys/Irkens in dresses!

Amy: Deal with it. This is the Quest for the Smexiest, not the quest for the whiniest. (Sorry to be so harsh, Dibbles!)

Jelly: Ya, sorry Zimmy, but she's right. Just bear it, because only the smexiest survive!

Amy: Now go be emo-tastic.

*they change and come back*

Jelly: Zim is wearing a slashed black shirt and black jeans.

Amy: Dib is wearing a…ninja suit?

Dib: It's still black!!!

Jelly: Fine.

Close up on Zim and Dib's faces: Smexy is pain.

Amy: Ready, set…strut!

*They strut then passionately kiss at the end of the runway*

Everybody including the Tallests: *NOSEBLEED*

Jelly: *while trying to stuff wads of tissue in her nose to make it stop bleeding* BOYS! Stop it before you turn this into an M-rated fic!

Fanboy: I'm gay for you guys!

Everyone: WTF? *comment makes nosebleeds stop*

Fanboy: Oops…shouldn't have blown my cover like that… *runs away*

Amy: Now…erm… go pick the smexiest outfit you can find!!!

*they go change*

Jelly: Zim has a bunny outfit on…ears, short green skirt, tight green top…snore

Amy: Dib has on a cat outfit…ears, tail and tight small clothing in black…snore

Jelly: This is boring. Want to go get a shake?

Amy: Sure. I've seen enough of Dib's skin to get a migraine.

*they walk off*

ZatrForever: I'll be taking over with this show. So anyway, now, they'll be dressing up as each other!

*Zim and Dib change*

ZatrForever: Zim is looking hot in pale skin and glasses with a slashed up shirt, dark pants, and a trench coat. Dib is looking really weird with green skin and one of Zim's Invader uniforms and fake antennae.

Zim: WAIT A MINUTE…ONE OF **MY** UNIFORMS? THAT DIB-STINK IS SO FILTHY, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LET HIM WEAR ONE OF MY PRISTINE UNIFORMS!!! !%^*&^%$$%^&*((*&^%$^&**E$*)_((^$&&(!!!

ZatrForever: Zimmy darling, please stop yelling and swearing in Irken. It really wasn't. It was a replica.

Zim: Oh…okay then.

ZatrForever: Finally, they will dress randomly. GO GO GO!!!

*They change*

ZatrForever: Zim is Tarzan o.O and Dib is a knight in shining armor. Unfortunately, Dib looks clunky in the metal while Zim is hot in a loincloth and holding a vine. That's the end, folks! Please look for the instructions on how to vote for the winner, and we'll announce the result in the next chapter!!! Ttfn!

*Cheers*

*Tallests pop up on wall screen behind them*

Red: Wait, humans!

Purple: Yes, wait!

Zim: My Tallests! *tries to cover himself* How much did you see?

Purple: Starting from when you proclaimed you were "smexier than Dib" up to now.

Zim: Oh no! *starts curling into a fetal position on the floor in embarrassment*

Dib: *Starts laffing his butt off*

Red: Don't worry, Zim. We won't say a word to the other Irkens IF you let us watch the rest of this Smexy-off.

ZatrForever: You pervs!

Purple: Either he says yes, or this video feed will be broadcasted all over again to all of the Irkens, Vortians, and all other planets we own.

Zim: NOOOOO!!!! *clutches ZatrForever's leg* PLEASE LET THEM DO IT! MY REPUTATION AS AN INVADER WILL BE IN DANGER!!!

ZatrForever: Dude, you just posed practically naked for all of the girls here and the Tallests. Still think you haven't been shamed yet?

Zim: *oblivious* yes.

ZatrForever: Fine, Tallests. We'll put up a feed just for you. STOP LAFFING, DIB! *pushes him into the Dibgirl crowd*

Invader Melissa: Yippee!!! Strip him, everybody!

Dib: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *clothing ripped from his body except for his undies and carried out of the room*

Zim: whew.

Tallests: goodbye, Zim. *evil grin*

ZatrForever: And that's the end! Ttfn!

*all leave*

*Jelly and Amy come back licking ice creams*

Jelly: Hey! Where'd everybody go?

* * *

So now you are met with a decision. Choose Dib or Zim in your review and let your voice be heard! First to review for each one gets to strip Zim or Dib ;)

Luv yas,

Jelly-Chan


	4. Smexy DancingCooking

Hey again, guys. Just to clear up confusion: the kiss at the end of the emo-tastic scene was my way of expressing some ZaDr…I am a fangirl, after all. But for all you people who ship different couples, you can just view it as "Jelly told them to." Hope you enjoyed voting for the winner of SMEXY MODELING's winner. The result will be put into the story instead of me just…writing it here.

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim or any of the songs in this chapter.**_

Now it's time for: REVIEW REPLIES!

**invaderzimfannumber1: Nice way to put it. Dib does always ruin Zim's plans…but it's sorta funny.**

**Tallest Rainbow: Wow, a Tallest…anyway, it's fine. We had about the equivalent of lingerie anyways. Thx for the compliment, My Tallest.**

**Anna: Sure, I'll put you in, but do you mean for the couple Red/Purple or just in like "I love Red and Purple I'm a Red/Purplegirl" sort of way? **

**ZatrForever/Invader Zatr: Thx for thinking my story was AWESOMEFULICIOUSLYTASTICALARIFIC!! And I'm glad you decided to go with the name Invader Zatr too. Animated fruit…tee hee :)**

**Invader Melissa: See, I told you I'd put it in. You got to strip Dib. Bet he's not happy though. Oh yeah I think the best cure for nosebleeds are listening to Hannah Montana…dries em right up.**

(we missed you Amy. With your vote for Dib, it woulda been a tie…oh wellz)

ENJOY!

* * *

(Scene: Cooking Kitchen/Dance Floor)

*Jelly and Amy walk out from behind a refrigerator wearing those sparkly dresses that only gameshow ladies wear*

Jelly: Hey, peoples! (And Tallests…)

*Tallests wave from wallscreen in the corner of the room*

Amy: Okay, so welcome to: Quest for the Smexiest, Round Two: Smexy Cooking and Dancing!

*Cheers*

Jelly: However, we have to show the results of the first round…and…*pulls out fancy envelope* *opens it* It's ZIM!!! One more vote than Dib, what a pity. (not)

Amy: :(

Jelly: That's one for Zim and nothing for Dib so far.

Zim: *from somewhere backstage* YES!!! Another victory for the Irken Armada!

Dib: NOOOOOO!!! *sob*

Jelly: Okay, back to round two. In this round, Zim and Dib will have to cook something delicious for me and Amy smexiliciously while responding with smexy dancing at random moments when music comes on.

Amy: It's glorious. And Invader Zatr will be helping us judge, so she will also get a nibble.

IZ: Ya! So here's your two golden boys, ZIM-

Zim: *appears and strikes a smexy pose*

*Loud cheering and nosebleeds from the Zimgirls*

IZ: and dib I guess.

Dib: *appears on set and sulks*

*Aww-ing and cheers from the Dibgirls*

Amy: That's okay, Dibby. We all know you'll beat Zim this time. *smirks at Jelly*

Jelly: Oh, did you say something? I was just thinking about how ZIM is going to win.

Amy: Hmph! Whatever.

IZ: Anyway, let's start the show! Zim, what will you be cooking?

Zim: A traditional Fignarb.

IZ: Ooh, Fignarb. I had some of that on Planet Vort last time I visited. It was delish.

Zim: Yup. *wink*

IZ: *swoon*

Jelly: Dib, what will you be cooking?

Dib: French Vanilla Crème Brule. With a little dark chocolate powder on top.

Amy: Ooh, yummy. Just like you, Dib.

Dib: *Smiles crookedly like Edward Cullen in Twilight, trying to dazzle*

Amy: *swoon*

Jelly: Okay, people. Zim, Dib, your ingredients are up on your counters. Begin…NOW!

Zim & Dib: *start cooking*

Jelly, IZ & Amy: *Sit down at judges table*

Zim: *launches powdered sugar pod at Dib*

*sugar pod explodes on Dib*

Dib: HEY! Judges, isn't that not allowed? He set me back!

Zim: Judges, please believe me when Zim says it wasn't Zim's fault. Zim was trying to mix up his ingredients!

Dib: No you weren't. You threw that at me.

Zim: YOU LIE!!!

*Sexyback by Justin Timberlake starts playing*

Dib & Zim: !!!???!!!

IZ: Dance, you fools!

Zim: *does the same but different smexy dance he did in Round one*

Dib: *starts doing the Robot*

*music abruptly shuts off*

Jelly: Go back to cooking!

Zim & Dib: *go back to their stations*

Zim: *throws a cherry up in the air and catches it between his teeth, smiling smexily*

Jelly & IZ: STYLE POINTS!

Amy: …

Zim: *beckons Dib to the station, then makes out with him while tossing several sugary items into the batter*

Jelly & IZ: STYLE POINTS!!!

Amy: …

Zim: *keeps cooking regularly*

Jelly & IZ: STYLE POINTS!!!

Amy: Aw come on! He didn't even do anything that time!

Jelly & IZ: …he looked hot while doing it.

Dib: *does a smexier thing than Zim*

Amy: You see? That's smexy right there!!!

Jelly & IZ: We didn't see anything!

Amy: I'm giving him style points anyway!

Jelly: Fine…

*I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred comes on*

Zim: *Sings along while taking off his shirt and twirling it around*

Dib: *Dances smexy up to Amy who falls over, nose bleeding*

*Music stops, Zim & Dib go back to cooking*

Zim: *Puts his shirt back on*

*Hannah Montana's If We Were A Movie comes on*

The Tallests: Our antennae! Our fragile antennae!!! They BURN!!!!! What is this horrid song!?!

Jelly: Hannah Montana, Tallests. Just bear it.

Everybody: WTF? They can't dance to this! It's retarded!

Zim: Erm…this is awkward.

Dib: Yeah.

Zim: Can we get another song?

Dib: Yeah, can we?

Jelly: Nope, if you want to be truly smexy you gotta show us that you can handle anything. Especially Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus songs.

Zim: okay…*tries to dance smexy*

Dib: *tries to dance smexy also*

Dib: I feel dirty trying to dance provocatively to a song little girls listen to.

Zim: *shiver*

*Music turns off*

Everybody: Finally!

IZ: Y'know Dib…using words like provocatively is not smexy.

Amy: Au contraire. I give him: STYLE POINTS!

*Tango comes on*

Zim: *summons IZ and Jelly to the floor then tangos with both of them*

Dib: *Tangos with Amy*

*During which time the creations were done…*

*10 mins later*

Jelly, IZ, and Amy: Please bring your concoctions up to the table, please.

Zim & Dib: *bring the stuff up*

Zim: This dish is filled with sugar.

Dib: Mine is too.

*Girls take bite of each, careen out of their chairs, bounce off the walls, and land in Zim's or Dib's arms, where they fall asleep*

Everyone: Awwww…

Zim: YOU LIE!!!

Everyone: WTF?

Dib: That's the end…vote for(Dib) your favorite (Dib) character (Dib) RIGHT NOW! (DIB) Ttfn.

* * *

I don't think this chappie was very good. What do you think? Anyway, vote for your fave. And you don't HAVE to vote for Dib like he was implying.

Zim is the smexy in smexiness!

Luv,

Jelly-Chan


	5. Trivia!

Welcome newcomers, and welcome back old comers! I hope you liked the last chapter, considering I was low on happy juice. I am happy to announce that Amy returned but IZ is nowhere to be found…so she will not be in this chapter. Oh wellz. :( Anyway, it's time for the Disclaimer!

_**Disclaimer: I don't and probably never will own Invader Zim or its characters unless I decide to become Jhonen Vasquez. But I'm not going to, so yeah. And I don't own any of the references (like Twilight or Hannah Montana). **_

Review Replies!

**Anna: Red/Purple…as in PaRr…okay. And I'll put in the ninja army as best I can.**

**Zeekaice: I'm sorry if this fic seems childish or overly exaggerated to you, but it is a humorous and parody-ish story. The characters are bound to be OOC. (And plus, Zim is mildly insane, so there's no telling what he'd do.) If you don't like the story and see this as another one of those fantasy stories shallow, vapid fangirls make up, please do not judge my whole writing style this way and automatically see me as a vapid, shallow fangirl. (I never said you actually said this, just saying.) I am a fangirl, but I am actually more subdued and not as crazy in real life, so please accept that. Thank you.**

**IZfan1: Smexy means the same thing as sexy except it's more fun to say. Yes, I will put you in seeing as Invader Zatr is gone. I am not trying to offend people by saying Hannah Montana is bad, it's just my opinion and I put it in to make the story funnier.**

**Amy: WELCOME BACK!!! I feel bad you had to be overstuffed with homework the last time I updated, so I forgive you. I see your chocolate e-rain and raise you a giant quadruple chocolate teddy bear stuffed with hugs!!! I hope you don't mind that I used your scene in this chapter…if you do, just say it and I'll edit it out. Lol on the whole wafer scene. I hope Dib made a good crème brulee!**

**Invader Melissa: Sure, you can be in this chapter. And you know what they say…you bleed anyway if you listen to her, I should have given you a warning…(sorry IZfan1)**

**Tallest Rainbow: Thank you for enjoying my work, My Tallest. :)**

**Kat: Teehee. I will put you in this chapter…but there's going to be a *plot twist!***

**Enjoy the update!**

* * *

(Scene: Gameshow set, with the buzzers and everything!)

*Jelly, Amy, and Invader Melissa walk in, in totally glamorous and sparkly outfits*

Jelly: Hello, and welcome to the Quest for the Smexiest: Round Three, TRIVIA!

Amy: Yes! Dib and Zim will have to answer questions about anything and everything. I will be in charge of Paranormal, Jelly will be in charge of Randomly Cool Stuff, and IM will be in charge of adding up the points and offering moral support, a most important job indeed.

IM: Mhm. We lurves smart guys.

Amy: They get ten points for each correct answer, except for in the DOUBLE WHAMMY part of the show, where they get to double their score. A wrong answer equals minus ten points and a chance for the other person to get it.

Jelly: Yup! Now, before we start the show, lets count up the votes for the last round!!! Dib had three votes, and Zim had two…that's sad…so I guess it's now a tie up on the tally board…

Amy: OH YEAH! TOLD YOU HE WAS GONNA WIN! OH YEAH! *Starts dancing*

IM: OH YEAH!!! *Dances*

Dib: *coming out onto the set* OH YEAH! SCORE ONE FOR THE EARTH! *Dances along with Amy and Melissa*

All Dibgirls and Dib: Oh yeah!!! Oh Yeah, it's his/my birthday, break it down now, OH YEAH!

Kool-aid Man: OH YEAH!!!

All (besides Jelly and Zimgirls and Zim): OH YEAHHHH!!!!!

Zim: *comes out on set, sniffling* That's enough…

Jelly: Aw, you poor thing. O.o Way too many "oh yeah"s for this chapter.

Zim: *sniffle* I know.

Amy: Anyway, lets get on with the show. First up, Paranormal!

Amy: What state does Bigfoot live in?

Zim: Uh...

Dib: WASHINGTON!

Amy: POINT DIB! What country was the chupacabra first bred in?

Zim: Chupa-whata?

Dib: MEXICO!

Amy: POINT DIB! What does a ghost throw up?

Zim: How am I supposed to know that? Zim is not a ghost!

Dib: PLASMA!

Amy: POINT DIB! What does an alien chew instead of bubble gum?

Dib: um…

Amy: COME ON, DIB! You know this!

Dib: Bogtaps?

Jelly: Minus ten points! WRONG!

Amy: NOOO!!! *grumble* I must begrudgingly give this to Zim.

Zim: Kliptips.

Amy: Point Zim…I guess…

Jelly: *suddenly in cheerleader outfit shaking pom-poms*

Whoo-hoo! Go Zim, it's your birthday, break it down now, uh-huh!

Everyone: WTF?

Amy: What is the proper term for a giant radioactive squid trying to drink from a lake?

Dib: Squid-Drinking.

Amy: POINT DIB!

*Door suddenly is broken down by Kat and many other people behind her*

Jelly: Holy muchacho! What the cod is that?

Kat: We're here for Jelly.

Jelly: Kat? Why are you here?

Kat: To do this, first of all. *Starts trying to beat up Zim*

Jelly: NOOO!!! Not meh ZIMMY!!!

Kat: *is restrained by Amy*

Amy: Who are you, and why did you want to beat up Zim over there?

Kat: Kat! And I did it Because I hate Zim! He tried to destroy me once! (A/N it was a made-up story over a call, don't ask)

Kat: And my second reason for coming here was because Twilight is so much better than Invader Zim.

Jelly: They're equal!!! :(

Kat: :( no they aren't.

*meanwhile, Anna was trying to get the Tallests to kiss, and the ninja army was helping her because she lurved PaRr so much*

Kat: Make Zim say Twilight is better, or my troops of Twi-hard fans will put drops of water on his head!

Zim: NOT WATER!!! And I shall never say anything is better than ZIM! Because ZIM is better!

Kat: You arrogant twerp! I'm not leaving till you admit Twilight's better!

Jelly: Then pull up a seat all you twi-hards and Kat because we still have half of the questions to go!

Kat: FINE! *pulls out chairs and sits in one of them*

Jelly: Now, it's my turn to ask questions! *Yippee*

Jelly: What is Hannah Montana's Real Name?

Dib: Miley Cyrus!

Jelly: I don't even want to know how you know that… But that one didn't count!

Jelly: What is Hannah Montana's Real, REAL name?

Zim: Destiny Hope Cyrus.

Amy: Zim's gone over to the dark side…

Jelly: Nuh-uh! Anyway, POINT ZIM! Okay, when does Zim eat waffles?

Zim: Holidays and during Glokbazhour…(Glock-boz-ooer)

Dib: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT???

Jelly: Yeah, you're right…if you did know that, you'd be a stalker…POINT ZIM!

Jelly: What kind of stuff does Zim use in his shower?

Zim: Paste! :)

Dib: I DON'T KNOW! Gosh, this is stupid. I'm leaving. *leaves, trailing Amy, IM, and all of the Dibgirls*

Jelly: Coward. Didn't even make it to the DOUBLE WHAMMY… Which means he disqualifies, erasing all his points and giving them to ZIM! However, since Dib left, the audience (A/N You guys, the readers) is going to vote to decide! Zim or Dib? VOTE NOW!!!

IZFAN1: *GLOMPS ON ZIM* Yippee!!!

Zim: *gets glomped*

Kat: Wait a sec…Zim, come back here! YOU STILL HAVEN'T SAID TWILIGHT WAS BETTER!!!

Jelly: *tries to conceal madness happening behind her* Ttfn, VOTE SOON!

* * *

So how'd I do? I think I ended quite hastily and there was no smexiness…but it was still funny, so I think it was pretty good. REVIEW!

Luv,

Jelly-Chan


	6. SOCCISTER! :

Hey, welcome back! Sorry to keep you guys waiting, but as a consolation present I've uploaded a new oneshot, which I think you'll enjoy if you like fluff. Now, before I do anything, it's DISCLAIMER TIME!!!

_**Disclaimer: If Jhonen were ever to stumble on this story, he should know I don't own anything here besides my genius, and some of that has been given to me by my reviewers. THX**_

**REVIEW REPLY TIME!!!!!**

**Anna: I didn't get around to the Tallests, but I think I have new inspiration…and I have decided on sports you will most undoubtedly enjoy. O.o big words. And yes, there will be awkwardness…I plan on at least one WTF moment.**

**Zeekaice: Thx for understanding. Glad to see you like the story. And I will put you in.**

**Invader Zatr: Thx for understanding to you, too! I really hate how sometimes the reviews get in like the next day when I've already posted the update. But anyway, enjoy this chapter! Nya~ **

**Amy: Yup. Sports it is! And I meet your leftover crème brulee and can of chocolate bubblegum with two cans of chocobubblegum, a rubber piggy, and one of Dib's jackets! Tee hee… and I plan on that special episode…**

**Invader Melissa: It makes us all excited, IM. You are not alone. **

**IZfan1: A glomping is when someone tackles someone else then hugs/cuddles them. And Twilight has vampires and werewolves…so I presume there would be blood. :)**

**Invader Oceana: Good to see!**

**Twilight Cat 64: I don't think that's possible to get ALL of the fangirliness ripped out of you… It leaves a sliver. For example, I read a PaRaZr (Purple and Red and Zim Romance) the other day, and it just tore a tiny bit of my fangirliness out, thinking about how weird it is that that would happen…(no offense or anything to PaRaZr lovers. I still read it, and I'm okay with it, but I just don't think it would happen.) I mean, Red and Purple should be together, but add in Zim and it makes em seem like pedophiles… and Twilight as in the time of day makes sense… sorry for my ranting, but I had the can of chocolate bubblegum Amy gave me.**

Now, enjoy the chapter!!! Zim commands you…

* * *

(Scene: soccer stadium where there is a giant twister mat and spinner)

*Amy and Jelly walk out in soccer uniforms, Amy's is black and white and has a circle with waves on top (To symbolize earth), and Jelly's is green and red and has the Irken symbol on it*

Amy: Hello, and welcome to: Quest for the Smexiest, Round Four: SPORTS!

Jelly: But before we start, it's time for: THE RESULTS FROM THE LAST ROUND!!!

Amy: Yes! :)

Jelly: Let's see now…four votes for Dib…and four for Zim! It's a tie!

Amy: Better than nothing, so they each get a point! And now on the tally board, it's still a tie! Two points for Dibblekins, and two points for the little green dude over there!

Jelly and Zim(just walking out): HE'S/I'M NOT LITTLE!!!

Amy: And now that Zim's out, let's see some DIB!

*Dib walks out*

Jelly: Dib is wearing black and white, and has basically the same uniform as Amy. Except…Dib, we can see your ARMS! O.o

Dib: Yup. Whenever I want to hidey-hole away, I just press this button-*Points to white button*- and my trench coat pops out! *Presses button, trench coat comes out, and Dib snuggles inside it* Ooh…soft…

*Meanwhile…*

Anna: Please, Tallests? Please won't you try my spaghetti? PLEEEEEEEZE? *Holds out plate of spaghetti*

Purple: NO!

Anna: If you don't I'll unleash a reign of ninjas-eating-pudding terror!!! I swear…

Red: Fine, but only because you'll annoy us to death if we don't.

Purple: Yup.

*Both take tentative bite of the noodles smothered in tomato sauce*

Tallests: This is actually pretty good!

Anna: Toldya.

*They keep eating till the last noodle*

Red: Share it?

Purple: Fine…but there are no knives, so I guess we have to split it ourselves.

*Take the noodle between their mouths then at the end, kiss*

Anna: *Yippee*

*Red glomps Purple and Anna is amazed at how spaghetti works on Irkens*

*Back to Round four…*

Jelly: Zim is wearing an outfit just like mine, except without the 'I lurves Zim' stamp on the front…

Zim: Yes. I love myself just as much as the next female does, except I don't put a stamp on my chest.

*Pumping Up The Party by Hannah Montana comes on*

Everyone: OUR EARS, OUR EARS!!!!!

Dib: Really? Another Montana reference?

Jelly: *Shrugs* Yepperdoodles. *shuts off music*

Amy: Anyway, the thing we're about to do today is called Soccister.

Audience, Zim, and Dib: WTF?

Jelly: Soccister is where you play soccer while playing Twister.

*Mutual Understanding*

*Kat enters alone into the stadium carrying a bullhorn*

Kat: TWILIGHT IS BETTER!!!!! IT'S AWESOMER!!!

Zeekaice (from somewhere in the stands): Shut up! Twilight sucks like a lamprey!

Kat: Let's take this outside!

Zeekaice: We ARE outside!

Kat: Then let's…erm…take it inside!

Zeekaice: Fine! Cocoa's on me!

Kat: FINE!

*They walk off*

Jelly: Moving on…Zimmykins, you're on the right, and Dib is on the left.

Amy: Jelly will be the ref, and I'll be the spinner. The game is fair…no cheating.

Jelly: Fine…!

Jelly: *blows whistle* Begin!

Amy: *spins* Dib, right foot on red! Zim, left antennae on purple!

Zim and Dib: *Put selected body parts on selected colors*

Jelly: Try to kick the ball in the goal!

Dib: *uses left foot to kick the ball into Zim's net*

Jelly: Goal Dib!

Zim: He has the unfair advantage! I can't move!

Amy: Zim, left hand on yellow! Dib, left ear on green!

Zim & Dib: ZOMG! :( *Puts down parts*

*After an hour of this madness*

Zim: I CAN'T FEEL MY SQUEEDILY SPOOCH!!!

Dib: I CAN'T FEEL MY HEAD!!!

Zim: Wow, that's hard for him. Losing feeling in such a LARGE part of his body…

Dib: *straining* MY HEAD'S NOT BIG!

Zim: So you say…

*By now, Zim is in an arch over Dib who is in a cat-like position*

Amy: Zim, lips on white! Dib, lips on green!

Dib: But there's no green around here!

Zim: Neither is white!

Jelly: Look closer… *devilish grin*

*Dib and Zim look at each other, then blush*

Dib and Zim: ZOMG! You want me to kiss HIM?

Jelly: It's in the rules…you defy, you lose!!!

Amy: Yup…

Zim: I shalt not lose-eth!!! *kisses Dib on cheek*

Everyone: WTF, Zim? You're not a medieval knight! And this isn't jousting!!!

Dib: I prithee will not-eth lose-eth either!!! …eth. *kiss*

Amy: Please-eth stop-eth! Ack-eth! There-eth is-eth something-eth that-eth is-eth making-eth me-eth talk-eth this-eth way-eth!

Dib: Hidey-hole time-eth! *presses button*

Zim and Jelly: Okay, that's enough!!!

Tallests: ZOMG-eth! We-eth have been-eth cursed with-eth MIDEIVAL SPEAK!

Everyone: AAAAAUUUGGHHHH-ETHHH!!!

*My Bloody Valentine starts playing and everyone stops talking weird and dances like no tomorrow*

Jelly: I think that's enough for one show. Vote for your favorite Soccister star! Ttfn!

IZfan1: *glomps on Zim*

Zim: Stop-eth, foul damsel!!!

Jelly: NOT AGAIN!!!

* * *

A/N: Hope you enjoyed. Review with your vote!

Luv,

Jelly-Chan


	7. Singing!

A/N: Welcome…I'm really sorry I kept you waiting so long. A lot of you guys have been asking for Gaz, Tak, Gir, and even Jhonen! I have forgotten Gaz and Tak and Gir, but will only put them in this chapter and random intervals. Jhonen will only be in this chapter, because he would definitely not approve of many of the other things I am planning. I am skipping the REVIEW REPLIES this update. But I offer you all a consolatory batch of big cookies in assorted flavors. Please enjoy. (Sorry for the song format...ff was being bad.)

* * *

The two Irkens caressed each other delicately, as if they were not both hardened soldiers, but lily petals. They kissed softly and gently, but it wasn't long till they both were making out passionately, tongues intertwining and fighting for dominance. Zim went to stroke one of Tak's (A/N: tee hee. It was Tak! :) Not Skoodge…that'd be weird) antennae, and she purred in ecstasy and clawed at Zim's back. The gashes were oh-so-painful, but it was a good pain…

Gaz stood at the door, her eyes burning with held-back tears as she saw the betraying sight in front of her. Tak was her best friend! And Zim was supposed to be hers!

Jelly snuck up on the couple…

"BOO!"

They burst apart in an instant.

Jelly laughed. "Okay guys, this is the wrong show…but I couldn't wait to ruin this oh-so-tender ZaTr moment~ teehee. You know I'm a ZaDr fangirl! And the ZaGr…it was…*no comment* and how Zim was being paired with the only two girls that are his age except Zita… I just exploded! Now, Zim if you could accompany me to the stage instead of kissing…I'd like you to please get in this outfit-" *holds out leopard print spandex* "-and follow me. Oh, and Tak, Gaz, please dress appropriately for the show! Thx!"

Dib suddenly appeared out of nowhere, and Amy glomped him, screaming, "MY DIBBERS MCDIBBLESON DIB DIBBY! MIIIIINNNNNEEEE!!!!!!!!"

Dib started crying cuz the only person he ever hugged was a fangirl…

(A/N: It's going back to the original format right now!)

Zim: Ick! Tak, your lips tasted like blicknar! You know how I hate that bitter, ugly vegetable!

Tak: Wah, wah, wah, "great Invader." Your lips didn't exactly taste like candy either. Speaking of which, I think you've put on a few pounds.

Zim: YOU LIE!!! ZIM IS AS FIT AS A CELLO!

Gaz: It's fiddle, man. FIDDLE.

*Moving on…*

(Scene: American Idol stage, with the words THE GREAT SINGSTER painted over them)

*Jelly and Amy come out in sparkly dresses to a screamingly cheering crowd*

Jelly: Hello, and welcome to QUEST FOR THE SMEXIEST: ROUND 5, SMEXY SINGING!!!

Amy: Yes, and now that Dibbles is safely stuffed with marshmallows, I'd like to show you guys our special guests…GAZ, TAK, GIR, AND JHONEN!!!!

*They all come out*

Jelly: So guys, what's up? Huh? Huhhhhh?

Gaz: Can't talk. Playing Gameslave.

Tak: I have given up my attempts to take over Earth, because the Tallests command me not to…because they love this show, apparently.

Tallests: Yes!!! (Purple) I like eating donuts to the tune of this show…or anything, really. (Red) Oh, you big potato…I lurves you. (Purple) I lurves you too, Red. Donut?

Anna (somewhere in the stands): YES!!! YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! *Gets hit by a donut*

Purple: Enjoy!

Jelly: O.o okay… anyway, what about you Gir?

Gir: I love this show…MY CUPCAKE! MY CUUUPPPPCAAAKKKEEEE…*falls on ground and starts convulsing*

Jelly: O.O Jhonen?

Jhonen: My poor belly…little girl, if you try anything "smexy" with my characters…I will puke.

Jelly: Ummmmm…*yells* HEY YOU GUYS SET UP THE EXTRA-DELUXE TARPS?

Random Guys: YA!

Jelly: Good. (To Jhonen) We're covered.

Jhonen: *crosses arms and turns away from camera*

Amy: Now, this will be a contest of SINGIN! Not singeing…singing. *looks at Zim, who was setting up for Tak to go in the flames*

Zim: *quietly puts away flames* Zim knew that!

Amy: First up is Jhonen…and he volunteered for this! Wow…

Jhonen: I just want to get it over with.

*Hannah Montana's Let's Get Crazy starts playing* (A/N: Don't worry, no bashing)

Jhonen: You ready?Woo! Here we goLife is just a party so come as you areDress it up or dress it down never forget your guitar, yeahJust be courageousThis style's contagiousEveryone can rock out like a superstarLet's get crazy!Get up and danceTake a swing, do your thingIt's worth taking a chanceLet's get crazy!Yeah, just kick up your heelsOn the south, time to shoutAlways keeping it realLet's get crazy! (crazy!) (crazy)Our songs, our style, our hair, our smileOur laughs, our hearts, our grace, our smartsYou see me on the cover of a magazine (remember)Things are always different then the way that they seem, haIt's an invitation, to every nationMeet me on the dance floor and we'll make a sceneLet's get crazy!Get up and danceTake a swing, do your thingIt's worth taking a chanceLet's get crazy!Yeah, just kick up your heelsOn the south, time to shoutAlways keeping it realLet's get crazy! (crazy!) (crazy) (crazy)La, la, la, la, la, laLa, la, la, laOh, oh, ohOur songs, our style, our hair, our smileOur laughs, our hearts, our grace, our smartsLet's get crazy!Get up and danceTake a swing, do your thingIt's worth taking a chanceLet's get crazy! (crazy)Turn the music up loudNow's the time, to unwindGet yourself in the crowdLet's get crazy! (crazy)Feel the fun, just begunCome on dance everyone (Let's get crazy!)It's an invitationTo every nationOh, oh, yeahOh, oh, yeah(Let's get crazy!) Crazy!(Get up and dance)Take swing, do your thingIt's worth taking a chanceLet's get crazy!Yeah, just kick up your heelsDon't miss out, time to shoutAlways keeping it realLet's get crazy!*Clapping*

Amy: Wow, that was good. He even did the exact voice and everything!

Jelly: I think I'd like Hannah Montana songs if Jhonen sung all of em. But he doesn't, so…eh.

Amy: Next is Tak.

*Disturbia by Rihanna comes on*

Tak: Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bumBum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bumBum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bumBum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bumWhat's wrong with me?Why do I feel like this?I'm going crazy nowNo more gas in the rigCan't even get it startedNothing heard, nothing saidCan't even speak about itAll my life on my headDon't want to think about itFeels like I'm going insaneYeahIt's a thief in the nightTo come and grab youIt can creep up inside youAnd consume youA disease of the mindIt can control youIt's too close for comfortThrow on your brake lightsWe're in the city of wonderAin't gonna play niceWatch out, you might just go underBetter think twiceYour train of thought will be alteredSo if you must falter be wiseYour mind is in disturbiaIt's like the darkness is the lightDisturbiaAm I scaring you tonightDisturbiaAin't used to what you likeDisturbiaDisturbiaBum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bumBum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bumBum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bumBum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bumFaded pictures on the wallIt's like they talkin' to meDisconnectin' your callYour phone don't even ringI gotta get outOr figure this s*** outIt's too close for comfortIt's a thief in the nightTo come and grab youIt can creep up inside youAnd consume youA disease of the mindIt can control youI feel like a monsterThrow on your brake lightsWe're in the city of wonderAin't gonna play niceWatch out, you might just go underBetter think twiceYour train of thought will be alteredSo if you must faulter be wiseYour mind is in disturbiaIt's like the darkness is the lightDisturbiaAm I scaring you tonightDisturbiaAin't used to what you likeDisturbiaDisturbiaBum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bumBum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bumBum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bumBum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bumRelease me from this curse I'm inTrying to maintainBut I'm strugglingYou can't go, go, goI think I'm going to oh, oh, ohThrow on your brake lightsWe're in the city of wonderAin't gonna play niceWatch out, you might just go underBetter think twiceYour train of thought will be alteredSo if you must falter be wiseYour mind is in disturbiaIt's like the darkness is the lightDisturbiaAm I scaring you tonightDisturbiaAin't used to what you likeDisturbiaDisturbiaBum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bumBum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bumBum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bumBum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum

*Loud cheers*

Amy & Jelly: O.O Next is Zim…

*I Feel Like A Woman by Shania Twain plays*

Everyone: Oh no…

Zim: *Comes out in dress* I'm going out tonight-I'm feelin' alrightGonna let it all hang outWanna make some noise-really raise my voiceYeah, I wanna scream and shoutNo inhibitions-make no conditionsGet a little outta lineI ain't gonna act politically correctI only wanna have a good timeThe best thing about being a womanIs the prerogative to have a little fun (fun, fun)Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a ladyMen's shirts-short skirtsOh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in styleOh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attractionColor my hair-do what I dareOh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feelMan! I feel like a woman!The girls need a break-tonight we're gonna takeThe chance to get out on the townWe don't need romance-we only wanna danceWe're gonna let our hair hang downThe best thing about being a womanIs the prerogative to have a little fun (fun, fun)Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a ladyMen's shirts-short skirtsOh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in styleOh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attractionColor my hair-do what I dareOh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feelMan! I feel like a woman!The best thing about being a womanIs the prerogative to have a little fun (fun, fun)Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a ladyMen's shirts-short skirtsOh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in styleOh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attractionColor my hair-do what I dareOh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feelMan! I feel like a woman!I get totally crazyCan you feel itCome, come, come on babyI feel like a woman

Everyone: O.O WTF? Zim feels like a woman?

Jhonen: *retch*

Zim: Yup. Is this not flattering?

Dib: *Comes out in equally small dress* Well, I think it is. *sees everyone's gaping stare* What? Don't knock it till you try it!

Everyone: O.O

Amy: Next is Gir…but I dunno what song he chose.

*song starts playing… but no one knows what it is*

Gir: Do ya like waffles?

Disembodied voice: Ya we like waffles

Gir: Do ya like pancakes?

DV: Ya we like pancakes!

Gir: Do ya like French toast?

DV: Ya we like French toast!

Gir: Doodoodoodoo Can't wait to get a mouthful!

WAFFLES! Doodoododo

WAFFLES! Doodoododo

Doodoodoodoo Can't wait to get a mouthful!

*DOOM* (A/N: last note of song ends like that)

Jelly: Next is Dib…*snicker* ZOMG, can't believe he's doing this…

*Superwoman by Alicia Keyes plays*

Dib: *struts out in superwoman outfit*

Jelly: *whispers* Thankfully he didn't use fake boobs…

Dib: *ahem*

Everywhere I'm turningNothing seems completeI stand up and I'm searchingFor the better part of meI hang my head from sorrowstate of humanityI wear it on my shouldersGotta find the strength in meCause I am a SuperwomanYes I amYes she isEven when I'm a messI still put on a vestWith an S on my chestOh yesI'm a SuperwomanFor all the mothers fightingFor better days to comeAnd all my women, all my women sitting here tryingTo come home before the sunAnd all my sistersComing togetherSay yes I willYes I canCause I am a SuperwomanYes I amYes she isEven when I'm a messI still put on a vestWith an S on my chestOh yesI'm a SuperwomanWhen I'm breaking downAnd I can't be foundAnd I start to get weakCause no one knowsMe underneath these clothesBut I can flyWe can fly, OhCause I am a SuperwomanYes I amYes she isEven when I'm a messI still put on a vestWith an S on my chestOh yesI'm a Superwoman

Jhonen: *RETCH*

Dibgirls: WHOOOO!!!

Zimgirls: Sissy…

Zeekaice: Hey at least our guy didn't wear a dress and garters!

Invader Zatr: YA HE DID!

Zeekaice: Oh yeah…he was rocking that dress, though.

Invader Zatr: …O.O

Amy: Lastly, it's Gaz.

Gaz: *shoved out onto stage without Gameslave, furious* I will rain doom upon you all! Especially you two *points to Jelly and Amy* and my stupid brother.

Dib: *still in superwoman outfit* WHAT'D I DO?

Gaz: You dressed up in that outfit! :(

Amy: JUST SING! D:

Gaz: *glare* *POOF, Gaz is now dressed in one of those motorcycle gang leather pantsuits with red lipstick*

*So What by Pink starts playing*

Gaz: Na na na na na na na na na na na na _[x2]_I guess I just lost my husband,I don't know where he went,So I'm gonna drink my money,I'm not gonna pay his rent,I gotta a brand new attitude andI'm gonna wear it tonight,I wanna get in trouble,I wanna start a fight,na na na na na na na I wanna start a fight,na na na na na na na I wanna start a fight._[Chorus:]_So, so whatI'm still a rock star,I got my rock moves,And I don't need you,And guess what,I'm having more fun,And now that were done,I'm gonna show you tonight,I'm alright,I'm just fine,And your a tool,So, so what,I am a rock star,I got my rock moves,And I don't want you waiter just took my table,And gave it to Jessica Simps (s***!),I guess I'll go sit with drum boy,At least he'll know how to hit,What if this songs on the radio,then somebody's gonna die,I'm gonna get in trouble,My ex will start a fight,na na na na na na na he's gonna start a fight,na na na na na na na were all gonna get in a fight,_[Chorus]_You weren't there,You never were,You want it all,But that's not fair,I gave you life,I gave my all,You weren't there,You let me fall._[Chorus]_No, no, no, noI don't want you tonight,You weren't there,I'm gonna show you tonight,I'm alright,I'm just fine,And your a tool,So, so what,I am a rock star,I got my rock moves,And I don't want you tonight!

*loudest cheering*

Jelly: That…was…awesome. However, since the guests are not officially part of the show, you may not vote them to be the winner. STILL, you can vote for which one to be in the next one. Out of: Gaz, Gir, Tak, and Jhonen. And VOTE for one of the girly boys over there as the winner, or Gaz will rain doom upon you.

Gaz: speaking of which… I RAIN DOOM NOW!

Amy & Jelly: AHHHH!!! *RUN AWAY*

(Scene ends, but you see a picture of Purple and Red eating donuts)

* * *

So, good or bad? I may update my crossover…but I might not cuz I've been typing for like three hours. So review!!! Vote!!!

Luv,

Jelly-Chan


	8. Torture Time

A/N: Hey peoples! I am delightfully filled with happy juice right now…and no homework! Yay! Anyway, I am very sorry that I can't do Review Replies but I know you know I know that you've been waiting for this update for a looooooooooooonnnnnnngggg time. And the score for the last two chapters were Dib, one and Zim, one. They haves a tie! Yaaaayyyy!!! Oh, and I have heard your guys' votes on who to choose for the guest in this one…but I changed my mind. There will be more than one.

Oh, and Anna, Purple threw a donut at you because he asked if anyone wanted a donut and you're like, "YES! YEESSSSS!!!". Get my point?

BTW: If I seem like I'm skimping and not doing very good…I'm sorry. I am very so very sorry…and feel free to yell at me if you like…

* * *

(Scene: Zim's house, you see Gir chewing on a rubber piggy)

Zim: *rubbing hands together* MWAHA-

Gir: Masta, don't you think we should be inside the shiny place inside the potty for you to do that?

Zim: Oh…Gir, you actually made sense for once. Come with me! *steps inside toilet, flushes*

Zim: *gets head stuck* HOLY IRK! HELP ME, GIR! HELP ME NOW!

Gir: *steps on top of Zim's head and does the lambada*

*both whizzed down toilet (snicker)*

Zim: Anyways…now…MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! I've finally devised a sinister plan to use those fangirls as weapons. First, I arm them with several radioactive rubber ducks, and then, throw them mercilessly at the Dib-Human! He'll never get over the green little birdlings! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

Gir: WEEEHEEEHEEHEEE!!!!!!!!

*Something crashes through the wall, Zim finds it to be a large pink pig made of metallic glitter*

Jelly: *comes out* Hello, Zimmykins! I lurves you…

Zim: *eye twitch*

Jelly: anyway, I have come to put you in this oh-so-stylish bear suit! *holds out bear suit*

Zim: I refuse to wear anything but my uniform. Unless it is made of sedical hairs and moof clovens, I refuse to wear it!

Jelly: It IS made of sedical hairs and moof clovens! Gosh. Now put it on!

Zim: NO!

Jelly: Yes. _maybe if I try this Tallest costume, it will work. _*magically transforms into a Tallest*

Zim: OMG! A Tallest!

Jelly: _he's not the sharpest tool in the shed, is he? _Uh, yes, Zim. I have come from Irk to see you, an Irken I have heard much about. I am Tallest Mocha, but I am only temporary, so please bow down while you still can.

Zim: *bow*

Jelly: Now, I COMMAND you to wear this bear suit.

Zim: *puts on bear suit*

Jelly: Now kiss me, you fool!

Zim: Me…? Kiss a Tallest…?

Jelly: Just do it. *holds up random bottle of Mountain Dew and smiles fakely, then puts it away*

Zim: *kisses Jelly who squeals and her costume magically dissolves*

Zim: JELLY!?!

Jelly: Uh…

Zim: Where did Tallest Mocha go?

Jelly: OMG…that was a costume.

Zim: *AWKWARD*

Jelly: Anyway, you have to come with me right now. Step inside the giant piggy, right now.

Zim: *pushed into piggy by hyper Jelly*

*Piggy takes off, leaving trail of pretty sparkly thingiemabobbers that Gir starts chewing on*

(Scene: Later, in some sort of torture room)

*Jelly and Amy come out in Grim Reaper outfits, each holding a sparkly wand*

Jelly: Hello, faithful viewers (and Tallests)! Welcome to: QUEST FOR THE SMEXIEST, Round 6!

Amy: We've got a great show for you today, but first our newly appointed THEME SONG!

*Milkshake starts playing with several lewd pictures of Dib suddenly appearing on the wallscreen*

Song: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, it's better than yours D*** right, it's better than yours

Everyone besides Dibgirls and Amy: OMG, WTF

Tallests: AHHHHHH!!! OUR EYES! OUR PERFECT CRYSTALLINE EYES!!! TAINTED!!!! TAINTED, SO VERY FULL OF TAINT!!! %^$%^$R&*T^&$*&*&%^&$FT&G*^%R^F$&**^^%((*^*&!!!!!!!!!!

Dibgirls: *simultaneously nose bleeding and drooling*

Amy: *nosebleed and drooling, kneels down and praises the wallscreen*

Jelly: HOLY CODS, SOMEONE SHUT THAT OFF!!! I HAVE SEEN DIB IN A THONG!!! *screaming*

Zim: *covers eyes in vain attempt to get pictures out of head* YOU BROUGHT ME HERE FOR THIS?

Dib: Hey! Who took those pictures! I only did that left one on a dare!

*Jelly desperately grabs a spare rubber chicken and starts smashing the wallscreen*

*Music and pictures shut off, wallscreen is undamaged*

Everyone: Whew…

Amy: Awwww…

*A lone figure suddenly appears on top the wallscreen and jumps down*

Figure: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

Jelly: why are you laughing?

Figure: Because I was the one to cause this debauchery! Mwahahaha!

Jelly: Wait, Kat, is that you?

*figure unmasks, revealing the brown hair and eyes of a Twi-hard fan known as KAT!*

Kat: Why is it that I can never have a good entrance? Curse you, Jelly.

Jelly: So you caused that fiasco involving the very naked pictures of Dib and that awful song?

Kat: Yes!

Jelly: Where did you get the pictures?

Kat: Oh Dib got high on sugar once, I could've asked him to kill himself and he woulda done it.

*Everyone looks at Dib who is guiltily trying to shuffle away*

Dib: erm…IT WASN'T MY FAULT!

Amy: Then who's fault was it? I told you not to overdose on sugar! Sugar makes you fat!

Dib: IT WAS ZIM'S!

Jelly: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's always Zimmykins' fault. *Hugs Zim to chest* You didn't do it, did you Zimmy?

Zim: No…I only shot a crazy laser at him…he was the one that went off to find sugar.

Jelly: YA SEE?

Dib: …

Amy: Anyway, since Kat is a Twi-nerd-

Kat: I prefer the term Twilightedly blessed.

Amy: Whatever, she will be put in this large case full of snacks so she can watch us do the show.

Kat: It'll be boring, though! I really don't want to watch Zim and Dib be 'smexy'.

Jelly: How did you take those pictures then?

Kat: … *gets put into case*

Amy: Anyway, it doesn't matter today, since we will be doing a _special _show today. It's called…*bum bum bum* TORTURE TIME!!!

Dib & Zim: That doesn't sound good.

Jelly: It's good for us! Since you have been enjoying the show MUCH TOO MUCH lately, we have to have this time for us to unwind…and watch you squirm.

Amy: Like worms, but much kyooter!

Dib & Zim: *try to run screaming from the set, but are restrained by big tethers*

Jelly: Ha…we knew you would try to run.

Zim: Jelly-human, if you let us go I'll embrace you and kiss you!

Dib: Yeah, Amy, I'll do the same if you let us go!

Amy & Jelly: *eyes turn red and glow creepily as they suddenly hulk over Zim and Dib* Amy/Jelly isn't here right now…so we get to play with you for the time being.

Zim & Dib: AHHH! THE CRUEL AND SADISTIC SIDE OF FANGIRLS! NOOOO!!!

Jelly: *bonks both on head with wand* stop that.

Kat: *evil grin while pretending to read her pocket sized Twilight book*

Zim & Dib: *rush to other fangirls, but they are all red-eyed also and cannot help them*

Zim & Dib: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jelly & Amy: *speaking in almost normal voices* Now, here's our two guest judges, Tak and Gaz! They've got plenty of revenge in them, so uh…yeah.

*Something breaks the ceiling of the set and everyone sees it to be Gir*

Zim: Gir! How did you get here?

Gir: Masta, I got rocket boots, memba? Plus the shiny thingies the piggy gave me to chew gave me sparkly gas. SPARKLY!!!

Zim: *eye twitch* Help me, Gir. They're about to torture me!

Gir: Torture? Oh I saw a movie on that once! They did lotsa good stuff, massages and chambers filled with bubble bath…it was SOOTHIN!

Zim: Just get me out of here!

Gir: No can do. The pretty lady-

Jelly: I'M A GIRL!

Gir: -gave me a chocolate bubblegum suck monkey not to bother you. So bye! I'm off to MEXICO! *shoots up into sky through hole, leaving glitter behind*

Zim: Gir! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Tak: Shut up, Zim. I'm going to fill your *smirk* _adorable _bear suit with this acid called water.

Zim: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Tak: *Shoves hose into tiny hole above the stomach*

Zim: OUCH, OUCH OUCH OUCH OUUUUUUCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHH!!!

Tak: I didn't even turn it on yet, you big baby.

Zim: *stops shrieking in pain long enough to realize that* Oh…

Tak: *turns on hose which is filled with, not water, but raspberry jelly and chocolate*

Zim: OMG, I'm getting covered with foodstuffs!!! AHHHHHH

Dib: *laffing his butt off*

Jelly: *Comes out of evil side* FOOD ON ZIM! EVERYONE POUNCE!

*Pounce from all Zimgirls, they rip off the bear suit, and a song from the 70s starts playing*

Zimgirls: *licking*

Zim: That tickles…

Amy: Isn't this a repeat of the first time we suggested doing this Smexy-off?

Jelly: Not really…if it was, I'd be fighting with you. The Dibgirls have started pouring pudding on Dib…

Amy: *dashes over screaming that she wants the cheeks*

Jelly: …and that is why I don't tell you that kind of stuff.

Zim: *from on floor* Can I get up now? The fangirls have been licking me for the past ten minutes. And the disgusting hyuuuman foodstuffs have been gone since five minutes ago.

Jelly: Fine, whatever.

*Everybody Dance Now (sp?) Starts playing*

Song: EVERYBODY DANCE NOW! *BUM BUM BUMBUM BUM BUM

BUMBUM*

Tallests: We command you to GET DOWN! And DANCE!

Everyone: *dance dance like DDR*

*Using this music as a distraction, Anna quickly ties up Jelly, gags her and drags her to a Spittle Runner, with which she pilots to the Tallests' ship*

*Music Ends*

Everyone: Hey, where'd Jelly go?

Wallscreen: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

Amy: Either Zim's personality has been downloaded into the wallscreen or someone has been plotting…

Zim: Mother of Irk, three plots in one day? Just crazy! Like the gleebnoks on Planet Squeebnor.

Dib: Another obscure space reference…typical.

Zim: Shut your noise tube, Dib-Stink. I hate you.

Dib: Oh yeah? Well I hate you!

Amy: *hulks over them with bright red eyes* THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE US TORTURING YOU, NOT YOU TORTURING US! NOW SHUT UP!

Zim and Dib: *cower and shut each others' mouths fast, underestimating the scariness of the FANGIRL*

Amy: I'm sorry you had to see that, Dibblykins…but you wouldn't like me when I'm mad…

Dib: *trembling nod*

*anyway, back to the screen, where Jelly has her gag taken off*

Anna: MWAHAHAHAHA! I have captured the great JELLY and have tied her up. The Tallests are trembling in the corner…now, I just have to find the magical tablet she writes on to make stuff happen. *searches around Jelly with scanner, it beeps when it gets to her pocket* Wah HA! *pulls out technology that looks like a small touch screen cell phone* Now, write RAPR, ZAGR, and DATR or you'll never get out of here! BWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

Jelly: NEVER! I AM STRICTLY A ZADR FANGIRL! (And plus, you didn't untie my hands.)

Anna: :( Don't play coy with me, Jelly. Either write or die a painful ninja-pudding-banana-related death.

Jelly: NOOOOOOOOO!!!! NOT TEH NINJAS!!! D:!!!!

Anna: Yes…*looking at the rest of the people at the studio* You have five minutes to convince Jelly to write the stuff, or it's bye-bye to her.

Everyone: AHHHHHHHHH!!! Jelly, WRITE THE STUFF! NOW!!!

Jelly: I betray my beliefs!

Invader Zatr: WRITE ZATR TOO!

Random audience member: AND GATR, GAGR AND MAGR(Mimi and Gir Romance)!

Jelly: OMG! FINE! I'LL WRITE IT ALL!!! *puts down many items*

*suddenly, many things start happening*

Red: PUR, I LOVE YOU! LETS GO MAKE SMEETS!

Purple: I LOVE YOU TOO, RED! FIRST ONE TO THE BEDROOM IS AWESOME!

*both rush to different room*

Zim: I suddenly feel love for you, Tak, and for you also, Gaz.

Tak: Oh, Zim! I suddenly feel the need to tell you I love you and want to make smeets with you!

Gaz: I lurves you too! Even though I usually hate you! Yay! Let's go make tons of tiny alien babies!

Dib: HEY! THAT'S MY ALIEN YOU WANT TO SMEX UP!

Zim: I LOVE YOU, DIB! I LOVE YOU!

*the four are engaged in a make out session involving ZaDr, GaTr, ZaTr, ZaGr, DaTr, and ZaDaTaGr*

Gir: *all of a sudden, comes back in* I wanna join the love!!! *gets involved in make out session, so now there's DaGirr, ZaGirr, TaGirr, and GaGirr, and ZaDaTaGiraGr*

Jelly: OH NOES! WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT-*bangs head*-HAVE-*bang*I-*bang*-DONE!?!

Anna: Best of all worlds!!! *peers down at writhing mess of flesh* Write in all other Invaders(A/N: Poonchy, Spleen, Tenn, Skoodge)! And Professor Membrane! And Barney! And Mimi! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!

Jelly: *sob* *writes*

*all other people arrive, and join the writhing mass of flesh and metal…and the Tallests spring out from nowhere and join*

Jelly: INSANE!!!! MY STORY OFFICIALLY HAS TOO MANY PaIrInGs!!! *breaks down and cries* TORTURE!!! Torture…*shudder*

Amy: ADD THE FANGIRLS IN FOR GOOD MEASURE…

Jelly: *write* *breaks down and cries*

*fangirls join mix…and they all burst apart*

Jelly: *stops crying* It's all over…Finally. Gosh, I'm glad I put that emergency button…

Anna: Whoa…what happened? I felt a burst of energy and that was it…

Jelly: You evil girl…

Anna: But I didn't do anything!

Jelly: NOT talking to you. KAT! YOU EVIL GIRL!

Kat: Yes…?*evil/innocent smile*

Jelly: Gimme the controller.

Kat: Que? I know no such thing.

Jelly: *scribbles on tablet*

*object floats out of Kat's hand and through wallscreen*

Jelly: *looks at it* I knew it. You implanted bugs in our minds…I just figured it out…and that's why I wanted to hurt my Zimmeh!

Kat: erm…NOW!

*tons of Twi-hards pour in, carrying squirt guns, all aimed for Zim*

Zim: NOOOO!!!! THE ACIDITY, TOO MUCH!!!!!!!

Jelly: ZIMMEH! *jumps out of wallscreen and stands in front of Zim* COOKIES WILL SAVE THE DAY!!! *Pulls out two giant cookies the size of Zim's ego :) and holds them in front of herself and Zim*

Kat: I don't want to hurt you, Jelly…stop defending Zim and come to the Twilight side…we can work something out.

Jelly: NEVER!!!

Kat: no choice but to fire, then. I'm sorry…FIRE!

*dozens of jets of water come down on cookies…but they still stay strong!*

Kat: OMG! SPRAY HARDER!

*harder jets*

Jelly: *grunts daintily* Zim, HOLD THIS CHEESE!

Zim: *takes cheese* What is this cheese's use?

Jelly: FRENCH KISS IT!!!

Zim: !!!

Jelly: JUST DO IT!!!

Zim: *French kisses cheese*

*at that point, the Twi-hards had run out of water, and had left*

Amy: GET ZIM KISSING THE CHEESE!!!

Jelly: I think that's all the torture I can stand for today…I'm ending the show…so bye…but until then enjoy this picture of a frog chewing miniature clones of the Tallests! TTFN!

* * *

So how'd I do? I switched part two back to just chapter 8...review! REVIEW, DARN IT!

Jelly-Chan :)


	9. SOAP OPERA!

A/N: Hey guys. I feel all…peppy and weird today, and unfortunately I can't do Review Replies because of my constricted computer time. But my love goes out to all you guys, including the occasional fanboy.

Oh, and in this chappie, _italics_ are their real comments, not part of the normal text their parts are in. (You'll understand when you start reading.)

THIS CHAPTER WAS SPECIALLY FORMULATED OUT OF AN IDEA GIVEN TO ME BY… ZEEKAICE!

(BTW: if you only read the first part of Chapter 8, I suggest you go back and read the second part)

**_Disclaimer: Don't own ANYTHING besides my little cell phone stuffed with Invader Zim…and if I offend anyone with this, I am deeply sorry and I didn't mean to._**

Enjoy the chappie!

* * *

*Zim, Dib, Tak, Gaz, Gir, and Jhonen are all standing on a fancy set*

Zim: O.O why are we here? *looks at Jhonen*

Jhonen: Don't look at me. I was teleported here very suddenly…

*meanwhile…*

Anna: Now, get in the tub.

Red and Purple: uh…

Anna: NOW. OR I WILL SEND IN MY NINJAS.

Red and Purple: No! We are Tallests, and we will not be swayed by-

Anna: *Gaz Glare* Disrobe and get in the tub, the both of you.

Red and Purple: *shiver, then disrobe and get in*

Anna: Now, French kiss.

Red and Purple: !?!

*back to the stage…* (A/N OMG Anna, I know ya hate me for this. I'll make it up)

Gaz: IF NOBODY TELLS ME WHY THE **&^(* WE ARE HERE, I'M GONNA ^&&^%*^% THOSE ^&(*^&^*(s of a girl!

Dib: *looking offended* Gaz!

Gaz: Shut up, Dib.

*Jelly and Amy walk in, in tank tops that say "I'm an It Girl, I'm a Zimgirl" and "I'm an It Girl, I'm a Dibgirl" and short skirts*

Gaz: *roar* *starts attacking Jelly and Amy*

Amy: OMG! EMERGENCY PIZZA, QUICK!!!

*off screen, someone throws a pizza and Zim quickly jams it into Gaz's mouth*

Gaz: *chewing*

Jelly & Amy: *get up, miraculously are unharmed* That was unexpected…

Dib: Really, dumping us on a stage agitates Gaz…

Gaz: *grr*

Amy: Note taken…*poses* so Dib, do you like my outfit?

Dib: *salivating* uh…ya…

Gaz: *smack*

Dib: Ow! What was that for?

Gaz: You were thinking she looked hot. She's not far out of your league, but come on!

Jelly: If I ask Zim if he likes my outfit, will Tak smack him for drooling over me?

Zim: LIES! An Invader does not think anyone is hot or even lukewarm! *hastily tries to hide drool*

Tak: *smack* I saw that.

Zim: Ow! *whimper*

Amy: Moving on… everyone, places. The fangirls are set to arrive in moments.

*everyone is ushered into a makeup room, where their hair (if they have it) is fluffed and primped, and they all poof back to the set when finished*

*fangirls all arrive, and are seated*

Amy: Hi people! (And Tallests)! We've got a great show today for ya!

Jelly: YES! Witness the gloriousness of…ROUND 6 OF THE QUEST FOR THE SMEXIEST, SMEXIEST ACTOR!

Dib: ! I can't act!

Amy: Yes you can, Dibbers. I saw your fourth grade play, you were great as Little Bo Peep!

*everyone looks at Dib*

Jelly & Zim: *looks at each other, then start laffing so hard they start crying*

Amy: Stop laffing! It's something to be proud of, Dib. Hold your head high and say, 'I am GREAT at playing a frilly girl!'

Jelly: * SO HILARIOUS she stops laffing* Anyway, we are doing a soap opera today! So, here are your parts!

*hands out parts to all characters*

Paper: *Parts are: Dib-Barbie, Gas-the background roles, such as the tree, Zim-James,

Jhonen-James's half father, Gir-Bimbi, Tak-Kurt, James's half brother*

Gaz: OKAY, WHO MISSPELT MY NAME AS 'GAS'?

Jelly & Amy: *point fingers at computer in corner of room*

Gaz: *RAWR* *rips the computer apart circuit by circuit*

Jelly: Ooooookaaaayyyy…. Anyway, u have five seconds to memorize that script. See ya on stage!

Dib: Wait! Why am I a girl?

Amy: You play them so well! Bye!

*after five seconds*

Jelly: ACTION!

*poof, set is magically set of soap opera*

Zim: *strolls in, wearing a black wig and purple contacts with a ripped up shirt, black jeans, and dark makeup*

Zim:*in a dark, depressing, supposed-to-be-deep (A/N as in soulful deep) voice* Oh, boy. I am a tortured soul…just a-strollin' through the woods. Ack, I feel the need to cut myself and wear black makeup.

*Dib strolls in, in a bright neon pink dress with so much glitter it would make Edward look dull (A/N OMG TWILIGHT REFERENCE) and blond curly hair, with Gir who is wearing a shiny metallic leopard print dress with long flowing purple hair*

Dib: Oh, hello. *blushes* Do I really have to say this?

Jelly: YESH! DO IT! NOWWW!

Dib: *in a shallow valley girl voice* _oh my god…_ Would you like my number, big boy? *titter*

Zim: Oh wow, a very *giggle* smexy girl. Yeah, I now totally love you. What's your name?

Dib: OMG, SO GLAD YOU ASKED! I'm the totally hawt beautiful kyoot girlie, BARBIE! This is my BFFAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAE, Bimbi!

Zim: I'm James, and I'm emo. I wear black makeup and like to cut myself.

Dib: OH WOW! THAT'S TOTALLY HAWT!!!

*Just then, Gaz, who is dressed as a tree, trips over a random rock placed on the stage and flips majestically into the audience*

Dib: …erm…I dunno if I should attempt rescue of Gaz wearing this outfit, or to just leave her be.

Gaz: *RAWR*

Dib: LEAVE HER BE! LEAVE HER BE!

Zim: ANYWAY! Keep going, Dib-fluff.

Dib: Uh…oh, yeah. THAT'S HAWT! ISN'T IT HAWT, BIMBI?

Gir: YA! TOTALLY HAWT!

Zim: *flexes, makes many poses that make Jelly and the Zimgirls squeal, along with Dib and Gir*

Jhonen: *in overly theatrical voice* Yes! My Son! We are leaving!

Zim: Wait, who are you!?! I don't have any parental figures!

Jhonen: I! Am your…HALF-FATHER! *BUM BUM BUM BUMMMM*

Zim: I hate you already.

Jhonen: And who is this cute little puddin' tater!?!

Dib: LIKE, hi! My name's Barbie, but you can call me Barbie, the totally super-hawt, super-kewl, super-AWESOME glittery gal! _are you kidding me? *sigh*_

Zim: Yeah…and from what I can tell, her friend is named Bimbi…who's got a REALLY bad nose job.

Dib: WAIT, HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE HAS A BAD NOSE JOB? ARE YOU GAY?

Zim: No, even-

*they both look as Gir is being checked out by Jhonen…(A/N: NOT REALLY! Like I would do that! Gosh, you are thinking PERVY right now you know.) quite theatrically (as in bobbing his head up and down while looking at Gir)*

Zim: HELLOOOO? New half-father I just met? Why are you drooling over a girl half your age?

Jhonen: Uh…Oh, yeah I came to tell you: WE'RE GOING TO VISIT YOUR HALF-BROTHER, KURT!

Zim: …uh…This is all going too fast! I used to be an emo boy just wandering the streets, but now I have a girlfriend who thinks I'm gay, her friend who likes me, a half-brother, and half-father? WHAT IS THIS? AM I BEING PUNKED? *looks suspiciously around*

*Dib starts crying (for real, some special effects person just launched some glitter into his eyes) and breaking out into hysterics*

Dib: AUGH, _my eyes! I mean, _YOU'RE MOVING! D:!!! WAH!

Zim: Now, now, don't get so worked up. In fact, this makes me hate you. We're over. Goodbye.

Dib: _yes! I mean…_NO!!!! *starts crying harder and pounds the ground, causing his wig to fall off*

*Dib and Zim stay still, not knowing what to do*

Zim: uh…YOU'RE A GUY!?! WHO CROSSDRESSES!?! AND WEARS MAKEUP!?!

Dib: uh… *looks pouty* My doctor said it's normal!

Jhonen: Half-son! Let us go now! Leave your ex in the dust!

Zim: *takes Jhonen's arm* Yes. Let's go! *smirks at Dib*

Dib: D:!

Gir: Can I go get tacos now?

Dib: Sure, whatever, Bimbi. At least tacos will warm my cold, broken, glittery heart.

Gir: WHEEEE!!!!!

*They leave, and the set is empty*

*Next scene-Zim and Jhonen are in a fancy house*

Zim: Where is this? It's so preppy. I hate you.

Jhonen: Now, now. Try to contain your excitement. Here's your half-brother Kurt, talk to him. *nudge*

*Tak comes in, with a happy expression on her face with blond hair and a preppy wardrobe*

Tak: HI, FRIEND! I LURVES YOU! *smile*

Zim: Augh! He's gay, right?

Jhonen: No, son! He's simply erm…over happy.

Zim: NOONE IS THAT PREPPY AND PEPPY. _reminds me of that revolting stink-child. What was his name? meef? Beef? Treble clef? Louise?_

Jhonen: Well…he is. Cheerio, I'm off to London! BYE! *zooms off*

Tak: Holy cheese and crackers! I hope you are a better toy than my stuffed animals…*holds up stuffed animal, totally maimed, with stuffing falling out at all levels* *creepy smile* I am so glad. I got so bored with just stuffing, I stuffed all of my animals with red liquid. *holds up knife* Awesome. So now, come here, loving brother. *starts slashing knife in air*

Zim: uh…I DON'T WANNA DIE! AHHHH!!! *breaks a window and jumps*

Tak: Huh. Wannabe emo dude. Weird. I was only going to cut his hair. I messed up on all my other haircuts…:(

*cut to random street, and Zim is running down it, freaking out*

Zim: Oh God. I had a brush with death right there. And worse: HE KNOWS I'M A…WANNABE.

*Suddenly, he bumps into…DIB!*

Zim: Barbie?

Dib: James?

*Girls suddenly crowd Zim, and girls dressed as guys crowd Dib*

*Zimgirls are dressed in cheerleader outfits and start dancing to random music*

*Dibgirls are dressed as guys and dance to the same music*

Zimgirls: Oh Zimmeh, you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind,

hey Zimmeh, hey Zimmeh

Oh Zimmeh, you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind,

hey Zimmeh, hey Zimmeh

Oh Zimmeh, you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind,

hey Zimmeh, hey Zimmeh

Oh Zimmeh, you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind,

hey Zimmeh, hey Zimmeh

Zim: !?!

*other side*

Dibgirls: Oh Dibbet, you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind,

hey Dibbet, hey Dibbet

Oh Dibbet, you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind,

hey Dibbet, hey Dibbet

Oh Dibbet, you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind,

hey Dibbet, hey Dibbet

Oh Dibbet, you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind,

hey Dibbet, hey Dibbet

Dib: !?!

*all fangirls herd them into the center, and Amy, Jelly, Zeekaice, and Twilight Cat kiss them*

Jelly: Heh. A sweet end to a deranged soap opera.

Amy: Yeah, except I wish I hadn't shaved my head. The rush of air on my head is unsettling.

Jelly: Oh, that's okay! *scribbles on tablet*

Amy: *gets hair back* Yayyy!

Narrator: And they all lived happily ever after…until the next show, that is. VOTE BEST ACTOR! (DIB/ZIM)

* * *

A/N: So how'd I do? SUGGESTIONS ALWAYS WELCOME~

And I dunno where I heard this from, but…"reviews will be drooled over, flames will be drooled on." it is certainly true! I lurves u guys!

3 ~ (I changed mah name. You likey?)


	10. Mary Sues! Ew!

**A/N: I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO happeh! People made me birthday fics, which made me feel loved. *Snuggles into newly found warmth* And my Zim plushie count is up to two! :D **

**Note: Yeah, I'm back. I am now a sarcastic fangirl with a more refined sense of humor. I have a lot to clean up, but first I should give you another chapter of the story that has eluded you guys for so long. Also, I am revamping the chapters into story format so that I don't get busted and have this story taken off. Happy reading! :)**

**Second Note: I don't have the most time to revamp all the chaps tonight, so I have revamped this and the first chapter.**

**DISCLAIMER: :( I DO NOT OWN. Happy now?**

* * *

The scene was Skool, and Ms. Bitters was raving on about DOOM again. The schoolchildren, like always, are sitting there, bored out of their minds and looking at the clock.

"Life is a big bowl of mine explosives, children, and if you make one mistake (like I did teaching snot-nosed kids about life), your life will be obliterated and you will be stuck in a classroom looking at ugly children. DOOM. DOOOOOM."

Just then, a large crash resounded through the classroom, and all the kids looked at the door that was now a pile of splinters and the two fangirls responsible.

Jelly and Amy sweat dropped and said, "Uh, we're here for Zim and Dib…"

The response was automatic. The children all pointed to the back of the room, where two boys were beating each other up with rulers. Zim and Dib weren't even fazed anymore, and they slowly got up and marched out of the room to where their embarrassment awaited them.

Jelly whistled. "Wow, we don't even have to call them anymore."

Amy nodded. "Yeah, they're like trained dogs…"

Jelly was confuzzled. "Wasn't that why we did that torture thing?"

Amy shrugged, and that was the end of that. They left with Ms. Bitters' glares trailing them out the door.

******************************Time Jump!********************************

They were now at the studio and decked out in their normal pimpin' outfits.

Without fanfare, Jelly snapped her fingers, and with her 'awesome fangirl powersÔ' set up the set. Fangirls rushed in like fools.

Jelly grabbed a mic and yelled, "HELLO, FANGIRLS!"

The fangirls replied, "HI, JELLY!"

Amy also grabbed a random second mic and declared, "We've got a great show for you today, but first: our special guests-"

Invader Zatr cried (from somewhere in the audience), "TAK?"

Invader Melissa bellowed, "GAZ? GIR?"

Zeekaice shouted, "JHONEN?"

A random fanboy cringed, "MRS. BITTERS?"

Jelly stopped them. "No, no, no, no, and ABSOLUTELY NOT! They are people you have NEVER heard of before. The only reason we were allowed to bring them in was because…uh…they ran out of pudding downtown."

The same random fanboy asked, "What does pudding have to do with people?"

Amy roared, "SILENCE! PUDDING RULES ALL!"

The fanboy was speechless.

Jelly waved it off and went, "Well, here we go!" Amy went backstage and wheeled to the set two large pods.

Suddenly, there was RANDOM LIGHTNING!

The pods broke, and beings rose out of them like butterflies out of a cocoon. They rose in a Frankenstein-like fashion, and the audience (including the Tallests) were shocked.

"HOLY FLADOODLES! WHAT THE COD IS GOING ON HERE?" They shrieked.

Just then, a small, stubby man came onstage with a microphone.

"May we present Marisu LeSue and Mary-Sue LeSue, her sister." Amy said.

The small stubby man began to speak.

"Lights, please!" Spotlights instantly appeared on the two beings.

"_Marisu LeSue is an assassin Invader with beautiful lime green skin who is gifted with rare color-changing eyes. She's calm and serene right now, so her eyes are swirling blue with golden fleckles. She's known for her beautiful singing voice and has none of the weaknesses of an Irken, but all of the strengths. She's the top Invader of her class, and loves Zim __more than anything. She was an orphan, but she raised herself and found a long-lost sister who is much like her, but not the same. She can't kill without feeling horribly bad, and that is a weakness of hers. She's so beautiful, she makes friends with everyone around her, and doesn't know she's secretly related to the Tallest._"

The spotlight then revealed an Irken with blueish eyes, a ninja outfit, and ultimate beauty. Zim looked at her, and she batted her eyes, smiled with white glittering teeth, and made Zim keelhaul (from the sheer corniness or the beauty, we're still unsure).

The man spoke again.

"_Mary-Sue LeSue is a strikingly pale, gorgeous girl who is committed to the paranormal, much like Dib. She has vibrant golden eyes and long, raven colored curls. She loves Dib forever and ever. She's known as the top paranormal investigator of her time, and can do kung-fu just like her sister. She angsts about her life and wants to kill herself, but can't cuz of her love for Dib. She writes poetry and is a great artist. She is petite, and always loves shopping and that is her one weakness. She doesn't know she's actually part Irken."_

Mary-Sue was also revealed, and she also smiled brilliantly at Dib, who also fainted.

By this time, Jelly, Amy, and the rest of the fangirls were steaming mad. How dare they be so perfect? How dare they ruin the canon? They began throwing rubber shrimp at the two shiny women.

"_But they missed every time, because with lightning fast reflexes they dodged everything._"

And they did exactly that, which was infuriating to the two fangirls.

"How can you change our story? Only I can do that!" Cried Jelly to the small man.

"_I am the narrator. You shall be put in cages and restrained since you are of harm to our main characters._"

Oh no! Jelly and Amy were transported to large, out-of-nowhere cages and muffled with crude muzzles. The Mary-Sues were trouncing around-

"_Charming all of the others to love them. Marisu was singing about her devotion to Zim, which he was listening to quite love sickly, and Dib was posing with shirt off to Mary-Sue, who was currently drawing him. The fangirls began to fall under the spell of the Maries._"

OH NO!

All of the girls and the Tallests began to love and be kind to the Maries, since they were just so perfect and lovable. With every bat of their eyes, another was under their wicked spell.

But wait! A heroine named Jaffa stepped out from the Zimgirl crowd, eyes duct-taped so she couldn't see the bats, and ears duct-taped so she couldn't hear Marisu's singing!

"_But the lone villain was quickly dispatched by-_"

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" She walked over to the stage and the guy was constrained by the spare duct tape she had. He squirmed, but by then she had taken off her duct tape and began to narrate using the guy's special mic he had.

"_The Maries suddenly stopped and began becoming ugly. Marisu LeSue's eyes were now a dull pink, her skin was pimply and uneven, and was now a horrible singer who screeched, and Mary-Sue became pimply, freckly, unevenly tanned, and now couldn't draw for crap. Zim and Dib saw their Mary-Sue ways and hated them forever. Jelly and Amy were now free, and the narrator showed their true face._"

The Maries shrieked as they turned into the equivalent of gargoyles. The Tallests tried to throw donuts at their crude faces but decided not to waste them, and the girls resumed their shrimp throwing. Zim got out a laser and blasted the heck out of Marisu, and Dib whacked her with the horribly drawn Dib sketchbook until she was a quivering mass of jelly. They were sent to an asteroid in another galaxy that was set to crash on a planet.

Jelly and Amy were free, and thanked Jaffa for her help profusely.

Meanwhile, the narrator turned into an EVIL IZ fangirl…the dreaded SUE-THOR! She screamed, and rolled her duct-taped self backstage, where she angsted about flamers and how they were 'such good OCs'. She was then magically transferred to a sanatorium. :)

And all was well again, thanks to Jaffa.

The End.

* * *

How'd I do? Feel free to comment. And btw: Toxic, it's ur name that's in there, it just won't let me put it in. Sorry! But it IS you, just remember.

Love, Chibi-san

(Someone let me know if -san equals male, I can't have the same thing that happened with -kun again ^^)


End file.
